Bullying and Stuttering: A Quick Guide for Caregivers, Teachers, and SLPs

Martha Horrocks
Sep 15, 2024
5 min read

Updated: Nov 18, 2024

As caregivers, teachers, and speech-language pathologists (SLPs), we share a common goal: to provide a safe, supportive, and inclusive environment for our young people who stutter. Unfortunately, research has shown that they are more likely to experience bullying than their peers. Understanding this reality can help us be better prepared to support our children and advocate for their well-being.

By being aware of their potential challenges, we can equip them with the tools and resources they need to build resilience and navigate difficult situations.

Recognizing the Signs of Bullying

Awareness of the subtle and overt signs of bullying can help you identify potential issues early on. Children may not always directly share their experiences, so it's crucial to be observant and attentive to changes in their behavior. Here are some key indicators to watch for:

Behavioral Changes: Look for shifts in your child's behavior, such as increased anxiety, changes in eating or sleeping habits, or a loss of interest in activities they once enjoyed.
Emotional Shifts: Notice if your child seems moodier, more upset, or withdrawn than usual. These emotional changes can be a sign of underlying distress.
Avoidance: Pay attention if they avoid certain situations, such as social interactions, specific discussions about stuttering, or particular places. This could indicate that they're feeling uncomfortable or targeted.
Physical Complaints: Be mindful of unexplained physical symptoms, like headaches, stomachaches, or frequent illnesses, which can sometimes be associated with bullying stress.

If you notice any of these signs, make time to check in: "I’ve noticed some changes in how you’re feeling lately. Is there anything you’d like to talk about? I’m here to listen."

Starting the Conversation

Talking about bullying can be challenging, but starting the conversation is crucial. Here are some strategies to foster a safe and empowering environment:

Ask Open-Ended Questions

Encourage them to share by asking open-ended questions that invite more than a yes or no response. You might say: "I noticed you're not as excited about soccer lately. What's going on?"

Be Calm & Patient

Let them share at their own pace without pressure. A calm demeanor reassures them that it's safe to open up. You might say: "Take your time. I'm here to listen to whatever you want to share."

Reassure Them that it's Safe to Share

Let them know they can talk about anything, and there won't be any judgment or immediate pressure to "fix" the situation. You might say: "I'm here to listen."

Normalize Talking about Emotions

Validate their feelings and make it clear that all emotions are okay. You might say: "Sometimes, talking about our feelings can make things feel a little better. We can figure this out together." or "It's okay to feel upset or angry. Talking about it can help."

During the Conversation

It's tempting to jump in and offer solutions, but the most powerful thing we can do is to listen, validate, and reassure. Here's how:

Acknowledge Their Emotions

Recognize and affirm what they're feeling. You might say: "I can understand why you're feeling upset after what happened."

Avoid Dismissing or Fixing

Refrain from saying things like "Don't be upset" or "It's not a big deal." Instead, affirm their experience. You might say: "What happened is not your fault, and your feelings are important."

Recast Their Words

Show that you're actively listening by reflecting back what they say. You might say: "It sounds like you felt really hurt when that happened."

Next Steps to Consider

Now that we have heard about their experiences, where do we go from here? It's important to take actionable steps that empower and support the young person. Here are some ways you can help them move forward:

Teach Them about Bullying

Help them understand what bullying is and emphasize that it’s never acceptable. You might say: "Bullying is when someone hurts or excludes others. It's never okay."

Teach Them How to Respond

Guide them in choosing simple, assertive phrases like “Stop” or “I don’t like that.” Support them to create a short explanation about stuttering that they can share with others, such as, “It’s just how I talk.”

Seek Support from the School Team

Engage with teachers, speech-language pathologists, and other school staff to ensure the young person has a support network within the school. You might say: "Who can help you at school? Let's talk to [teacher's or principal's name] about what's been happening."

Practice Self-Care Together

Practicing self-care together is a powerful way to connect, co-regulate, and foster resilience. Here are some simple self-care activities that caregivers, teachers, and SLPs can do with young people who stutter:

Take a Mindful Minute

Guide yourself and the young person through a simple mindful practice like triangle breathing or a quick body scan. For triangle breathing, both of you can breathe in for three counts, hold for three, and exhale for three, visualizing a triangle with each breath. Alternatively, you can do a brief body scan by closing your eyes together and paying attention to different parts of your body, starting from the head and moving down to the toes, noticing any sensations. This quick activity helps calm the mind and connect you both in a moment of relaxation.

You might say: "Let's take a moment to focus on our breathing together before we [go to lunch, rejoin the class, have dinner, etc.]. We'll breathe in for three, hold for three, and breathe out for three. Ready?"

Quick Yoga or Stretching

Spend a few minutes stretching or doing simple yoga poses, like a forward fold, child's pose, or gentle neck stretches. This activity can help release tension, improve focus, and foster a sense of calm.

You might say: "Let's do a quick stretch together to help our bodies with these emotions. How about we reach for the sky?"

Gratitude Check-In

Take a moment to share one or two things you are grateful for. This practice can shift focus away from stressors and help build a more positive mindset. It’s an opportunity for the child to express their feelings and for the adult to model gratitude, fostering an environment of appreciation and support.

You might say: "Okay, let's each share one thing we're grateful for today. It can be anything, big or small. What about you, [child's name]?"

Short Walk or Fresh Air Break

Go outside for a brief walk or simply step outside for some fresh air. Nature can have a calming effect and offer a break from stressful situations. Whether it’s a walk around the block, a lap around the school playground, or just standing outside to feel the breeze, this activity helps to clear the mind and refresh energy levels.

You might say: "Let's take a short walk outside or just step out for some fresh air. It might help us feel refreshed and clear our minds."

Silent Time or Listening to Soft Sounds

Spend a few quiet moments together, either sitting in silence or listening to soft, calming sounds like nature noises, gentle music, or guided meditations. This can be especially soothing if the child feels overwhelmed, providing them a moment of peace. It's a way to be together without the pressure of conversation, allowing both the child and the adult to relax and recharge.

You might say: "Let's sit quietly together for a few minutes. We can listen to some soft music or just enjoy the silence." (Highly recommend the Spotify playlist Pixar Film Scores - here's the link!)

Bullying can be a devastating experience for young people who stutter. Still, by understanding the signs, providing support, and accessing resources, you can help them navigate these challenges with resilience and strength.

For additional support and resources, please refer to our post on support groups for families of young people who stutter.

References

Blood, G. W., & Blood, I. M. (2004). Bullying in adolescents who stutter: Communicative competence and Self-Esteem. Contemporary Issues in Communication Science and Disorders, 31(Spring), 69–79. https://doi.org/10.1044/cicsd_31_s_69

Davis, S., Howell, P., & Cooke, F. (2002). Sociodynamic relationships between children who stutter and their non‐stuttering classmates. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 43(7), 939–947. https://doi.org/10.1111/1469-7610.00093

Miller, M. (2021, September 8). When Stuttering Meets Bullying. American Institute for Stuttering. https://www.stutteringtreatment.org/blog/when-stuttering-meets-bullying

Orchinik, L. J., PhD (Ed.). (2023, March). Helping Kids Deal With Bullies. NEMOURS KidsHealth. https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/bullies.html

Stuttering Therapy Resources. (2015). Practical Tips: Helping Children Who Stutter Minimize Bullying*. https://stutteringtherapyresources.com/pages/all-practical-tips-handouts